Developing a Growth Mindset

Gospel-Centered Mentoring

My first job, apart from babysitting, was working at Burger King--which is known as Hungry Jack’s here in Commonwealth nations. (Burgers might be distasteful to the monarchy?) For a “whopping” $2.20 per hour, I learned to run the broilers, work drive-through, and make a Whopper Jr. in less than a minute. Another task was setting up the short-lived salad bar. I giggle now as I remember decorating the “healthy” salad bar (consisting of iceberg lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, and ranch dressing) with a coarse dark green foliage, which I now recognize as the superfood kale, something no one ever dreamed of eating back then.

Kale has since become my metaphor for embracing a “growth mindset.” I want to challenge preconceived notions and be open to the possibility that just maybe I could be wrong in my thinking, that there are possibilities I have yet to consider, or that maybe even long-held convictions need to be challenged or adapted. (Just to be clear, I am not referring to tenants of my faith, although applications are open to discussion.)

A coaching/mentoring conversation is fertile soil for cultivating a growth mindset. It’s like a workout for my mind. Here’s what it looks like: I shared with my coach that it had been a rough week, and I was emotionally spent. It began with a disappointing turnout at one of our ministry events (aka, no one showed), and pretty soon I found myself spiraling down into negativity and lethargy. I am well-versed in what doesn’t work when I’m feeling that way (as is my poor husband, bless him), but I felt stuck on what next steps would get me out of my funk. My coach asked some excellent questions which helped me clarify my values--I love to entertain in my home. I am drawn to fellow expats and want them to find community. She helped me identify the primary group I want to meet--young adults and senior citizens. She then had me brainstorm ways that I could marry my values to my target groups in my context, and voila! Soon I had a list of five things I could do. Then she asked me for one more idea; and then another one. It felt like doing yet another mental push-up after maxing out.

It may sound simple, but the process is NOT simplistic. Few friends would have pushed me to think that hard nor asked how I would work accountability into my action plan. I can generate ideas all day, but follow-through can be a challenge. Because of her gently applied pressure, I have committed to applying for the senior citizen visitation program in my community. And since I’ve written about it here, I’ve increased the likelihood that I will enroll in the program exponentially.

Another important part of this equation is impartiality. My coach knows me, but she doesn’t have an emotional investment in the outcome of our conversation. Because of the degree of separation, she can even ask questions that a person with more firsthand knowledge might avoid. The result is that you can stumble on some genius ideas that might have been too easily discarded by someone closer to the situation or not even asked because of her assumptions. These are reasons that spouses coaching one another rarely works. But I am learning to embrace a growth mindset, and I am open to the possibility I could be wrong. 😉