Personal Tolerance

Gospel-Centered Mentoring

In engineering design, tolerance refers to the acceptable limits of varying size while still ensuring proper function, fit, and performance. For example, a specific part for a machine may be designed for a length of 10 mm. But the acceptable tolerance may be anywhere from 9.95 - 10.05 mm. This slight flexibility allows parts to remain interchangeable—a crucial aspect of mass production.

But how does tolerance apply to our personal and ministry lives? Let’s take a closer look.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash

In life and ministry, tolerance can be understood as the capacity to extend grace, patience, and understanding—to ourselves and to others. Each of us is in a different place and space spiritually, emotionally, and physically. If perfection is our only standard, we will experience strained relationships and personal stress, frustration, and guilt. To be clear, I’m not suggesting we excuse sin—ours or anyone else’s. Tolerance is not the same as permissiveness. It’s not about lowering standards. It's about being patient with ourselves and patiently walking with people in their own journey of life. What I am encouraging is an approach to our personal life and relationships shaped by the words of the Apostle Paul:

“To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.” (1 Corinthians 9:22–23)

Consider the following:

Establishing personal non-negotiables is healthy. But when those boundaries become idols, they can keep us from grace-filled living. For example, cutting out refined sugar is a great health goal. But when your daughter returns from Europe with chocolates (true story), is there space to savor the sweetness without guilt? Tolerance lets us enjoy the moment—and the relationship—without breaking trust with ourselves.

Or think about this: You notice a church or school family hasn’t been in worship for a few weeks. What’s your response? Is it gossip, judgment, or guilt? Or is it love, patience, and curiosity—seeking to understand what’s happening in their life?

Even something as simple as stepping on the scale can trigger a tolerance response. Zero tolerance might say, “Well, I guess this is just who I am now. I give up.” But gracious tolerance says, “This isn’t where I want to be—but I can start a patient, faithful path toward change today.”

In engineering, tolerance helps parts work together. In life and ministry, Gospel-shaped tolerance helps us fit together our pieces of life under grace, not compulsion. It also helps us better connect with our family, friends, and co-workers. It reflects the heart of our Savior, who is full of both truth and grace.