Self-Care Isn't Selfish

Gospel-Centered Mentoring

Personal growth can sometimes feel selfish. Why invest so much time and money into spiritual disciplines, professional growth, eating healthy, exercising, or being coached? I have work to do, bills to pay, and a house full of people who depend on me. How can I justify dedicating so much time to my own well-being? I was thinking about this as we returned from our recent family vacation. I had just finished 11 hours of driving, and the last leg was bumper-to-bumper traffic through Chicago. I was stressed and exhausted, and I took it out on a leftover container of brownies. For the last few weeks, I’ve been following an eating regime that has made me feel amazing. But in a moment of weakness, I indulged and waited for the brain fog and stomachache to roll in. Such slip-ups happen. No big deal. But I noticed that once I started scarfing down those sugar-filled chocolate squares, my wife followed suit even though she had adjusted her diet to be more healthy over the last couple months. But when I gave in, she also did. It was a powerful reminder: self-care isn’t selfish. When we commit to nourishing our souls, caring for our bodies, and growing our minds, we’re not just helping ourselves—we’re setting the tone and shaping the culture for the people around us.

Photo by Surface on Unsplash

Actions Do Speak Louder Than Words:

I would like to believe my kids will do everything I ask of them:

“Read your Bible.”

“Train your body.”

“Budget your money.”

No matter how much I nag, they don’t seem to follow my “sage” advice. But the other night, I popped into my son’s bedroom before I went to sleep, and I caught him reading his Bible. And then the other day, I stumbled upon my daughter lifting weights out in the garage. Then, a few days ago, I listened as my daughter was planning out her finances. They weren’t following my advice—they were following my example. Seeing my family reflect my habits—both good and bad—shows me that personal growth is not selfish. It’s how I serve them.

So, who is watching what you are doing? Who follows your example? Ask God for the strength to become the person you want them to be. Grow into a strong, patient, God-fearing leader, and those around you will follow. Then, your self-care will be an act of service.

Call to Action

Consider one or more of the following to charge up your self-care habits:

• Reframe Self-Care as Service: Think about how taking care of your spiritual, emotional, and physical health is a way to serve those you love. When you grow stronger you become the kind of leader, parent, or spouse they can lean on and emulate.

• Take Inventory: Take five minutes and list out all the individuals God has placed in your work/ministry/personal life. This is your sphere of influence that God has given to you. This an opportunity to be a blessing to others through your modeling of words, actions, behaviors, and habits.

• Legacy vs. Lifestyle: Your habits aren’t just shaping your week, they’re shaping how others will remember you. So Think long-term. What example do you want your family, friends, students, or congregation to carry forward?

• Pick One: Identify one spiritual, emotional, or physical habit that could make the biggest difference in your well-being right now. Then take one small step today to get it started. It might just become a keystone habit—a simple shift that sets off a ripple effect that positively impacts your life and those around you.

  Pastor Ben Sadler serves as a pastor at Victory Lutheran Church in Franklin, WI. He is passionate about helping people find meaning in life through Jesus. Ben loves to read, write, coach, and stay active through CrossFit, biking, and golf. He and his wife, Emily, have three children—Shelby, Jonah, and Annie—and a beloved dog, Scout. Find more resources at: pastorbensadler.com