Is there a place for the long, slow work of relationship-building in modern missions? When we're eager to share the good news, the process of simply having coffee, sharing meals, or taking long walks can feel unproductive. But what if these activities are the essential "rock picking" and "soil tilling" that prepare hearts for the gospel?
In this episode, we are joined by Aaron Wakeman, Executive Director of Friends Network, an organization that sends laypeople as missionaries around the world. Drawing from his extensive experience in China and in training missionaries, Aaron unpacks the vital importance of "relational evangelism."
Join us as we discuss biblical examples of friendship in ministry, the danger of underestimating trust-building across cultures, and practical strategies for moving from acquaintance to authentic friendship. Learn how to view the gospel as a "multi-dimensional diamond" and how to recognize your God-given role as a "de facto chaplain" in the lives of those around you. This conversation is a powerful reminder that the most meaningful ministry often happens not in a formal presentation, but through the patient, loving investment in one person at a time.
What we talked about:
Biblical Foundations for Relational Missions: Aaron and the hosts explore passages that highlight the deep, personal connections of the apostles, including Paul's bond with the Thessalonians, his partnership with Priscilla and Aquila, and the ultimate blessing of Jesus dwelling among us.
The Gospel as a Multi-Dimensional Diamond: Aaron introduces the concept of the gospel having many facets—like identity, peace, and honor—that can be turned to speak directly to an individual's specific needs and cultural convictions. He tells the story of how framing the gospel in terms of a father's unconditional love and acceptance powerfully connected with a young woman struggling with parental expectations.
The Farming Metaphor for Ministry: The group discusses how mission work is like farming, involving various legitimate and necessary stages like "rock picking" and "tilling the soil" before a visible harvest. This metaphor affirms the value of long-term, slow, relational work that may not show immediate results. It's estimated that a person may have an average of 30 "touch points" with the gospel before coming to faith.
Building Trust Across Cultures: Trust is not built the same way everywhere. While Americans often build trust based on cognitive factors ("head"), most of the world builds it through relationship and affective factors ("heart"). This is illustrated by the story of a missionary in China who learned he needed to spend "smoky time" building relationships before he could be effective in his theological training.
Becoming a "De Facto Chaplain": With global trust in institutions eroding, 60% of people are more likely to trust close friends and family with spiritual issues than institutional representatives like pastors. This creates opportunities for Christians to become a "de facto chaplain" for people in their lives, who entrust them with significant spiritual matters because of the relationship that has been built.
A Three-Part Method for Evangelism: Aaron shares the strategy his organization teaches: 1. Meaningfully engage in your culture and community, 2. Establish authentic friendships, and 3. Share the gospel wherever God provides an opportunity. He tells the story of a missionary in the Philippines whose commitment to simple, daily engagement with his community led to a crisis intervention and gospel conversation with a local butcher.
Merging Universes and Plausibility Structures: Drawing on Sam Chan's work, Aaron explains the importance of community in evangelism. Introducing a seeker to a community of local believers makes the Christian faith more plausible (aside from the inherent offense of the gospel), helping them overcome the social and cultural hurdles to conversion. This creates a safe environment for the often messy, non-linear process of a spiritual journey.
Mentioned in this episode:
Book: The Culture Map by Erin Meyer
Book: The 3D Gospel by Jason Georges
Resource: The 3D Gospel video on YouTube
Book: How to Talk About Jesus (Without Being That Guy) by Sam Chan
Organization: Friends Network
Organization: The Lausanne Movement
Common Terms and Links on Jesus and Jetlag
WELS = Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod (wels.net)
WLS = Wisconsin Lutheran Seminary in Mequon Wisconsin (wisluthsem.org)
BWM = WELS Board for World Missions
CICR = Commission on Inter-Church Relations of the Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod
Vicar = a pastoral intern in the Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran system
Wisconsin Lutheran Quarterly (WLQ) - A theological journal, published by Wisconsin Lutheran Seminary, that aims to serve pastors and theologians with scholarly articles, book reviews, and reflections on contemporary theological and pastoral concerns.
Pastoral Studies Institute of Wisconsin Lutheran Seminary
All commentary, statements, and discussion on this podcast reflect the knowledge, insight, and experience solely of the individuals presenting and featured on the podcast.
